Breaking the Chains: Redefining Success for First-Gen Professionals in STEM and Healthcare
In the grand arena of “who’s got their life together,” first-generation West African professionals often feel like they’re playing a high-stakes game with no rulebook, juggling flaming swords while being told to smile. We’re the ones who “made it.” The golden children. Degrees? Got ’em. Stable jobs? Check. Paying bills on time and helping auntie with rent back home? Superhuman status achieved. But let’s be real: success has never felt so suffocating.
This blog isn’t supposed to be asermon. It’s a wake-up call — maybe even a roast session. We’re going to break down why “success” feels so damn heavy, why burnout might actually be your love language, and how to reclaim your time, energy, and sanity without disappointing your whole bloodline. Let’s get into it.
1. The Hidden Weight of “Making It”
If you’re reading this, chances are someone in your family has said, “We’re counting on you.” Cool. No pressure, right? For many first-gen professionals, success doesn’t just belong to us — it’s on lease from our entire family tree. Your job title becomes the family brand, and suddenly, you’re HR, finance, and emotional support for everyone with your last name.
And let’s not forget the cultural guilt tax. You finally make it into that nice zip code, and suddenly you’re debating whether it’s unethical to enjoy brunch while your relative in Asaba doesn’t have money for gas for their gen.
This pressure shows up silently — working 60-hour weeks, overcommitting to everything, smiling through burnout. You become the go-to person in your workplace and your family, but you can’t go to anyone when you’re exhausted. That “honor” becomes a trap.
2. When Achievement Isn’t Enough
You got the degrees. You got the job. So why do you still feel like an imposter with anxiety dressed in a lab coat or behind a stethoscope?
Burnout isn’t just about being tired. It’s about emotional bankruptcy. And perfectionism? That’s just trauma with a LinkedIn profile. You’re either working yourself into the ground to prove you belong, or avoiding tasks altogether because the idea of failing feels like a betrayal of everyone who ever believed in you.
And don’t even get me started on social media. You scroll through a sea of “just bought my third property at 29” and “secured the bag” posts while eating instant noodles and wondering if you should just become a YouTube influencer for peace of mind.
3. Who Are You Really Doing This For?
Time for the uncomfortable question: Is this your dream or a remix of someone else’s? Are you in medicine because you’re passionate about healing people, or because your parents said, “You can be a doctor, lawyer, or disgrace to the family”?
Many of us inherited success blueprints that didn’t come with a user manual. But guess what? You can rewrite the rules. Living intentionally means you get to choose what success looks like — for you. Maybe that’s a sabbatical. Maybe it’s a job with less prestige but more peace. Maybe it’s turning down a six-figure offer because the team is toxic. Whatever it is, it has to fit your values — not just your resume.
Try this: conduct a personal “Success Audit.” Ask:
- Am I proud of how I spend my time?
- Am I sacrificing joy for image management?
- If I weren’t trying to impress anyone, what would I do differently?
Warning: Side effects may include existential clarity and unsubscribing from hustle culture.
4. Build a Life That Can Hold Your Ambition
Let’s be honest — some of us treat burnout like it’s a badge of honor. As if needing sleep is a moral failure. But listen: rest is not weakness, and therapy is not betrayal.
You don’t need a vacation. You need a system. One that supports your goals and your nervous system.
Here’s what that can look like:
- Boundaries: Saying “no” without a 3-slide explanation.
- Bandwidth checks: Stop signing up for things when you’re running on fumes.
- Support team: Advisors, mentors, and therapists who understand that you’re not just chasing money — you’re managing legacy, guilt, and community expectations.
Oh, and self-care? It’s not all sage and bubble baths. Sometimes, it’s automating your bills, blocking off Fridays, or ignoring that WhatsApp group chat draining your soul.
5. Redefine Success Before It Redefines You
Here’s the truth: You don’t need to crash and burn to realize you’re on the wrong track. But if you already have — congrats! You’re in excellent company.
Some of the most powerful professionals I know have walked away from “perfect” lives because they were quietly falling apart. They chose peace over pressure. Joy over image. Wholeness over hustle.
Redefining success isn’t quitting. It’s finally playing the game on your terms.
Here’s what that could look like:
- Choosing a job that lets you be present with your kids.
- Dropping the side hustle that’s making you money but stealing your health.
- Reinvesting energy into relationships that pour back into you.
Success isn’t a title. It’s a feeling. And you’ll know when you’ve found it — because it’ll feel like home. I was a major in the US Army, I was an engineer, now I am a financial advisor. No cool title I guess, but my cups gets full when I help people setup systems to play and win at their game.
Final Word:
You are not selfish for wanting boundaries.
You are not ungrateful for needing rest.
And you sure as hell are not a failure because you’re tired of carrying the weight of ten generations on your back.
It’s time to break the chains.
Not just for you.
But for everyone coming after you who needs to see a new definition of success.
Let them see you choose freedom.
Ready to Redefine Success? Start by understanding where you really stand. I’m offering a free financial checkup to help you assess your current financial health, uncover blind spots, and give you clear direction — without guilt, shame, or judgment.
Because clarity is the first step toward freedom.
